MIchael: Doubling Up

Yellow striped black snake
As harmless as a spider
And just as scary.

Tuesday, May 15, 2018

At the beginning of this month I turned 60 and I’m excited about that. For at least the next two years my intention is to race like crazy. This year running whatever races I like, but leaning more toward the under 25k events. Next year I’ll hopefully build off whatever speed I can muster and use the form gains to stretch it out a bit and work up to 100k races.

To start I ran two races back to back on Saturday and Sunday; May 5th and 6th. I ran the Phantom 20 miler on Saturday and the Verdugo Mountain 10k on Sunday. Something old and something new. This is only the second year of the Phantom race and my first year doing it, while I’ve run the Verdugo several times, the last time being 4 years ago. It’s been at least that long since I’ve attempted to do multiple races on the same weekend, but what the hell? Why not see how the 60 year old psyche and body can handle it?

And on reflection, I’d say pretty damned good. I came in 5th in the 20 miler finishing in 3:06 on a very hot day, and though a bit fatigued on Sunday, I managed my pacing well enough to finish 29th out of 800 and first in my age group on the challenging Verdugo course.

To quickly bring myself back down to earth and knock whatever chip or growth is deforming my shoulder, I’ve signed up for the State Street Mile on June 3rd in Santa Barbara. That gives me less than a month to try and build up some speed and at this stage of the game, I just don’t see that happening that quickly. I’d be shocked if I placed, but I’m going to give it the old, and I mean really old, college try.

Michael: The 5 Star Homeless Life

Coyotes howl
As the ambulance sirens
Pass by the park.

Monday, May 14, 2018

For the record, I’m not homeless though I am in a quasi-vagrant state.  I’m splitting my time between living in my wife’s friend’s garden utility shed, the old bedrooms of my nephews, and a night or two in an Airstream at work.

This situation arises from the convergence of the two major dilemmas of life in Southern California; drive time and housing costs. My wife and dog are not working. They’re housed at my sister’s in San Clemente for a reasonable $750. But I work in Malibu and Westlake Village. That’s why I’m renting the shed near Hollywood. The Airstream is a kindness from my employer when I’ve been assigned a short turn around from a late afternoon shift followed by an early morning shift the next day.

Yet none of this bouncing around amuses me as much as my one day shift at a 5 star hotel where I’ve discovered, if I were homeless, I believe I could live quite comfortably for quite some time.

Here are the caveats:

1. The hotel must be large enough to house many diverse programs and personnel.

2. You must be willing to dress in a simple uniform; for example, matching t-shirt and shorts.

If you can meet these criteria simply google or inquire what the hours of the ongoing program of your choosing is at the hotel you‘ve decided upon. Hang around enough to figure out a few key employee entries. Ask simple questions. And enjoy.

With these basics down I’ve eaten at the hotel cafeteria, worked out in the gym, and showered at the very nice spa of the hotel. No one has questioned me at all. I simply stated that I’m new to the program and was wondering where the cafeteria/gym/showers were? And now that I know where these basics are, I just walk with confidence wherever I need to go. Would I ever have the guts to do this if I were truly homeless? I doubt it, but someone out there ought to give it a go. And if you do, please give me the thumbs up when we pass in those dreary employee only tunnels.

Michael: Job Insecurity

A light rain in May

Gray and dismal to our weak

And fragile spirits.

Wednesday, May 2, 2018

After a hectic two weeks of filling in shifts for vacationing staff, I began to feel confident that I was both appreciated and needed. I was hoping the two weeks had served as a proving ground for a promotion to a full time position. You would think that at just days away from being 60 I would know better.

Now that the two vacationing staff members have returned, not only have my hours been cut, I’ve been asked to begin training at another site.

This has left me feeling a similar depression to my early years of teaching when I requested to remain in first grade. I thought I had finally learned the ropes of that grade level and had developed a good camaraderie with my grade team. We were all wrong about that as our principal, who at that time had the authority to move us to where she saw fit; saw fit to move 4 out of 6 of us out of our first grade level positions.

In between the arc of these position transfers, I’ve experienced enough displacement, both involuntary and voluntary, to where I should have realized long ago that no one is irreplaceable. Yet I’m still pouting over it and sadly concerned about what it means for my long term prospects with my present employer.

Michael: The Pro Asked for My Autograph

 Saturday, April 28, 2018

A field of flowers
graces the late spring season
with blooms of color.

Baseball and I have slowly parted ways over the years to the point where if Joe Mauer has retired from the Twins, I wouldn’t be able to name a single current professional player. 

This parting of the ways wasn’t dramatic or triggered by any sudden change in the game or myself. It’s been more like my transition from a love of milk chocolate as a kid to a strong preference for dark chocolate as an adult - just one of those things that I’m sure I could rationalize if need be, but that wouldn’t truly serve as a explanation. 

And it’s definitely not like boxing; where I almost feel ashamed of ever being such a fan. In fact I enjoy my reminiscences with old friends (and my mom - the biggest influence in my life when it comes to my sports education). I even enjoy going to a game if invited although I no longer have any rooted interest in the outcome. 

That’s why this week was such a big treat for me. We had a guest who was a highly regarded former professional player. He was a player after my prime interest in the sport, but familiar enough to where I had a fuzzy idea he was a name I should know if I had remained highly interested in the sport. So I checked in with an old friend who confirmed that I was in the presence of a pretty darned good former player. 

And this guy was a great guy. And in a twist that would’ve had me peeing my pants with joy when I was a kid, he asked to have his picture taken with me and gave me a sizeable tip when he checked out. It was a thrill. Maybe not in the same league as my lost Twins cap with Harmon Killebrew’s and Tony Oliva’s autographs, but I won’t forget this gentleman’s kindness and humble demeanor in an era where too much attention is given to so many people in so many industries who’s only claim to fame is their ability to draw attention to themselves. 

Michael: The Rattler

The rattler rattled
Then slowly slithered away
To hide in the brush.

Wednesday, April 25, 2018

On Sunday, the day our guests arrive at the wellness resort to begin their seven day retreat, I spotted a long yellow racer snake just outside one of the guest’s rooms. This was the first time I had spotted a snake since being back in the states this year and I was excited about it. I shared my enthusiasm with the guest at orientation and told them that the advice that our naturalist gives them to stomp and they’ll go away, was effective.

As effective as it may be though, my inclusion of this eye witness account wasn’t taken well by my supervisor, who chastised me for bringing it up. She advised me, understandably, that these were city folks and their knowing that creepy crawlies were lurking about would be better left in a more theoretical framework, and that if I were to reference personal experience to use examples that had occurred at a distance from our current location.

Funny then that just two days later I again had an encounter with a snake, though this time with the only dangerous snake around here - the rattlesnake. As I was near the end of marking the trail on a bluff near Nicholas Canyon State Park, I sighted a two and a half foot long rattler stretched out on the trail. I was a bit surprised because at the time it was kind of foggy and cold. And the rattler, by his actions, was just as surprised, and probably a bit more displeased, with encountering me.

 I watched the snake from a safe distance before deciding to reach for my phone and take a picture, but the rattler took the opportunity while I was fumbling through my pack to crawl off and coil up under a nearby bush. He wasn’t far off the trail but was still extraordinarily well camouflaged.

I decided not to share this event with our guests given my recent hand slapping, but it’s a very good reminder to myself and those out there, to be careful where you step when looking for a place to potty off trail. It’s not likely you’ll encounter a rattler, but they’re out there and the damned bastards are pretty damned good at hiding right under our feet.

Michael: Traveling - Doggy Style

Traveling – Doggy Style: Monday, April 23, 2018

The striped racer snake

stretches out on the warm trail

absorbing the sun.

 

A 6 ½ hour flight is tormenting enough for us human types, but most of us have gone through it enough to know what to expect. So I really can’t imagine what it was like for our little Luna ( I only call her that for the alliteration. Actually, she’s a pretty stocky medium sized lab/pit bull mix.).

 

Try to imagine being taken from your home in a tiny prison cell (though this is where at least one aspect of her in flight experience might be better than ours as at least she can stand up and move around whenever she likes.), thrown into the darkness of some … room? Where you’ll spend the next ten hours undergoing exposure to all kinds of weird sensations that we associate with taking off and landing along with in flight turbulence.

 

And I’m a pretty sound sensitive person but I can’t imagine what kind of torture a dog senses being exposed to the constant howl of jet engines for 10 hours.

 

And though we strapped water and food to her cage she wasn’t fed or given water until we uncaged her. Being vegetarians, we weren’t fed either, outside of the usual airline snacks, but that was voluntary on our part. Next time I’ll have to remember to strap some treats to myself.

 

Still, despite all these horror producing experiences she came through with flying colors; not even peeing until we let her out of her cage. Ahh…that’s a sweet relief I’m sure we can all relate to.

Michael: Caught in the Net

Magical mirrors
Only answer honestly
To deranged people.

Saturday, March 31, 2018

Where I work as a hiking guide encourages people to detox by going internet free for a week while they hike, exercise, get massages and eat delicious vegan meals.

Not surprisingly, where people end up cheating the most is the internet. Just about everyone carries there phone with them and when they here the “ping” of service availability they’re on it like I’m on gas station chocolate and coffee on my way home from work.

Right now I’m spending two nights a week there and even that seems like a burden when it comes to refraining from the great and powerful WWW. With wi-fi I’m usually able to call my wife in Panama every night though it was out completely last week for a few days. Outside of that, and checking on the weather, up until last Thursday I did manage to refrain from checking my personal e-mail or doing any other on-line personal business or searches.

But finally I broke down and the lure of the net and fatigue overcame the serenity of my location and purpose of my employee and I tuned into Colbert. I’m going to try and not make a habit out of it and stick to reading. After all, I do believe it doesn’t hurt to disconnect for a bit. The world goes on without us and it’s also kind of fun to be out of loop for at least a couple of days.