Michael: Opening Up

 The caterpillar

Undulates across the room

Like it owns the place.

 Friday, May 29, 2020

Since people have been cooped up for a bit we expected that when the trails opened up again we’d see a few new faces on the local trail. But to our surprise, on one of our very first dog walking outings we caught a peak at a bit more than the faces of a few non-locals.

Now I’m solidly in the upper end of the middle aged spectrum but I still don’t consider myself a prude. If you want to go at it in nature, whether because you’ve been inside for months, or you just love the feel of fresh air and mosquitos on your privates that’s fine by me. But let’s all follow a few simple rules of proper birds and bees etiquette out there.

One, unless you’re an exhibitionist and are willing to expose yourself to criminal penalties (pun intended), find a reclusive spot off a named public trail. That bridge, with it’s trickle of water flowing underneath, may seem like a tranquil scene to gaze at while you’re going to town (again, pun intended), but it’s a very public walkway, even during the week and particularly after dawn. There are many more preferable locations, though I’ll confess that in SoCal water features will become harder to come by (all right; last pun intended).  

Two, after location, timing. During the week, particularly Tues-Thurs, is going to give you a greater possibility of privacy.

And three. Make it an event. Scout it out and prepare so you’re both comfortable. That time and effort acts like foreplay and should raise the enjoyment of the experience.

These are simple guidelines that would seem pretty commonsensical, but apparently some newbies to the outdoor sensual delights world are pretty clueless.

So enjoy, but keep the trails clear so that people and their dogs aren’t requiring you to pull your tights up and run off like deers caught in our headlamps.

Michael: The Ride of Your Life

The Ride of Your Life; Wednesday, May27, 2020

You are strapped in

And going on the ride of your life.

It’s going to dive,

Swirl,

Although most of the time

It’s just going to laboriously grind forward.

You can loathe it.

Squeal like a pig in clover.

But as it glides slowly to a stop;

When you know it’s just about over,

Think what you want.

Reminisce for a bit.

Use the attendant’s hand if you’d like

And squeeze as tight as you can.

The ride’s come to an end.

Michael: A Twofer

 The contours of you

Are as tantalizing as

A double scoop cone.

Monday, May 25, 2020

Is faith as essential as a haircut? I’m not much of a believer, but I do have a decent amount of hair left, so I’m going to say no. If it were the other way around I might think differently.

Now my wife is cutting my hair at home and I suppose if you were inclined to pray, you could do the same.

In my way of life a haircut has never been a communal activity whereas religion did revolve around a weekly communal schedule of events. Not of my own volition mind you. Yet as a former Catholic my stained glass spirit begrudgingly sympathizes with those whom feel compelled to visit their chosen purification centers where some old man rewards them with a bland thin mint for listening to his Latin chants for an hour.

My idea is that Trump should propose a twofer; return to church with the promise of a hydrochloroquine communal wafer. That way you get to affirm both your faith in God and in your president. Both of them work in mysterious ways and also promise to never let you down. It’s a win – win.

Michael: Shave and a Haircut

The radiant sun

Is tempered by the cool breeze

Coming off the sea.

 Thursday, May 21, 2020

Yesterday my wife gave me my first at home haircut. She did a great job. But what struck me about this is that earlier in the month it was my birthday and my sister sent me an old picture where I had thick, long, wavy black hair. Don’t ask me why, but I feel my hair looks better now.

That’s not the strange part. What’s strange is that over the years very seldom have I looked in the mirror and asked myself why am I not feeling this change? And why do I have a preference for my older self?

On a related topic I’m beginning to understand why our imbecile in chief and zombie running against him must look in the mirror and still believe that they should be running our country. Their change has been so gradual that they didn’t feel it. And what’s worse is, like me, they’ve deluded themselves into somehow believing that the experience of aging has somehow improved them. Boys…men…old geezers…let me tell you, no; your looks, like everything else about you, are slipping.

I suppose it could be worse and we might still get there. There was an article in this morning’s news about a woman whose children are missing who woke up one morning and told her now deceased husband (murdered by her brother) that she had decided she was an immortal sent from God to lead the chosen to heaven.

Now you look at her picture and she just seems like an average woman, so how does it happen that she one day looked in the mirror and saw such a radical transformation?

And what’s scarier is that I wouldn’t be surprised if Trump pulls out the same Caligula type move sometime soon.

Michael: Disparaging Fantasies

Disparaging fantasies

Shiela’s Ranch

Crosses her legs and smokes

A little weed

While she waits for me

About an hour outside of Vegas.

Again today

I’m doubting I’ll get there

As my driving hands

Seem forever drawn to the warmth

And safety

Of these old flannel sheets.

It seems I’m sleeping in again.

I just don’t have the juice I use to.

Sheila if you came to me

The money’s on the dresser;

Or at least that’s the way

I believe it works.

MIchael: Soft

She crosses her legs

While she waits for me outside

Alone with her thoughts.

 Monday, May 18, 2020

What makes one operating system different than another I couldn’t tell you. I’m just grateful there’s two to of them. Is there more? Doesn’t matter. Two’s enough.

Why?

Because even before all this stay at home mess, I never felt comfortable doing my occasional sexology research to see if we humans have come up with any interesting variations on satisfying our prurient interests.

On my random checks, I would say not, although I’ll admit to being a bit of a prude and never searching in the very dark crevices that I’m sure are out there.

Now if we were on a single operating system a pattern of my searches might show up on my wife’s computer, which for technical reasons, I’d rather not explain to her.

But now that neither of us is working I’m only a thin door glimpse away from being interrupted at any moment, and this has set me back month’s in my studies.

As a work around I’m trying to keep up by following the latest trends in fitness models, shuffle dancing and lingerie as these may prove to be of corollary value. Even if not, they’ll have to do until the lab gains a little more privacy.

Michael: They Don't Seem to be Ready

 To bite an apple

Is to take communion from

All that is holy.

 Friday, May 15, 2020

For the first time in two months my wife and I decided to go out to eat. We didn’t sit down, we walked in and took out at one of our favorite take out places – let’s call it, “Chipotles”.

We were a bit surprised that we were able to walk right in though there was a hostess at the door who was getting people’s call in orders and I’m sure  checking that there weren’t too many people lined up inside. There wasn’t as only one other person was in line.

What surprised us was how cavalier a few of the employees seemed to be about the new sanitation guidelines. For example, one of the line servers was wearing her mask incorrectly with it only covering her mouth and not her nose, whereas the cashier was gloveless.

I want to be ready to go out to eat again, although I’ll feel much better about that when I’m back at work. Until then we’re pretty sure we’ll keep to cooking at home.

I do hope when we venture out again they’ll be better prepared for us.

Michael: Odds and Ends Again

 A very light rain

Returned to California

To cool our fevers. 

 Monday, May 11, 2020



Yesterday we went to our first family gathering since Christmas. Though no one talked about it, there was a little bit more edge to the nervousness in the air that’s always there. Hopefully, that was all that was in the air.



When I was a kid I saw Night of The Living Dead and it scared the beejeezus out of me. But at least you could tell the zombies from the living and you could see them coming. Now the only creatures I trust are my wife and dog, and probably my dog more so. Everyone else is suspect.



One of the few benefits of all this distancing is that I wasn’t much of an intimate person to begin with so keeping my distance has actually brought about a sigh of relief. At work, with new guests arriving every week then leaving four days later, handshakes and hugs were pretty common. I’m glad that’s all going to change.



What else is going to change, to what degree and for how long all seems to be a mystery.



For sure one of my main interests; racing, is going to be affected at least in the near term. And when they do start back up signing that waiver may not just be the small formality it once was.



As soon as we do get word that we’re (at least one of us I hope) are going back to work, I’m hoping to sneak in a short solo camping trip in the nearby mountains. Though with the paradox of balancing being bored with all the groundhog day sameness of life now and the possibility that events could change drastically from moment to moment, I’m sure that trip will also have a little extra edge to it as well.



Ever since I went on a semi-solo trip in Washington where my companion met me halfway through and told me I may not be able to fly home because some dufus tried to set off a shoe bomb on a plane, I always have these weird sci-fi plot lines in my head while I’m out there.



One surprisingly delight that doubtfully wouldn’t have occurred any time soon was my winning a speech contest via zoom at Toastmasters. I wasn’t the best speaker but since I was the first in our club to take advantage of the technology of zoom and use video clips, the novelty put me over the top.

Michael: Never Long Enough

Never Long Enough



There is a sense

Of euphoria, love and warmth

As the raindrops

Of your blouse fall into the water.



Envelop me.

Dissolve my soul

Into the sea

Of your moonlit tides.



There is a sense of forever

That never last long enough.

Michael: Mr. Magoos

The overwhelming

Beauty of the spring foliage

Won’t last forever.

 Wednesday, April 29, 2020



Right now I’m suppose to be working on a Toastmasters’ speech. It’s going to be about how the hosts of childhood television programs of the 50s/60s interacted with their viewers. These aren’t suppose to be politically orientated, and this topic seems pretty neutral on it’s face, but it got me to thinking about our choices in the upcoming election.



I see our choices as being between two Mr. Magoos; one a narcissistic bumbler and the other just a once in a while crotchety Mr. Magoo. And, I suppose on some level, either one would be somewhat amusing if so many lives weren’t at stake both now and in the future. But sadly they are and I’m not sure either is going to make much of a difference either in the short or long run.



Now for whatever reason Trump has his devout followers and haters and Biden does not. Biden is at best a place holder, and it’s hard to motivate people who are either cynical or indifferent about our electoral process to get off their duffs and vote for a place holder. That’s why it almost doesn’t matter what happens between now and the election. Outside of a significant part of the U.S. blowing up in some literal fashion, Trump is going to have a great chance of being re-elected.



The only reason I can see to get out (actually mail in my ballot) is to replace RBG with a liberal justice. That’s probably not going to do it for that many cynical or indifferent people to make a difference. I imagine that most people who care about the Supreme Court are already in that Lover/Hater part of the election Venn diagram.



Either way the prospect of watching Mr. Magoo for four more years, no matter which, isn’t all that interesting to me. I didn’t much care for the show even as a child.