Michael: The Eco Extreme

Crackers and jack cheese
Are as delicious a snack
As one could hope for.

Wednesday, April 27, 2016

There are only two local races in Volcan, one we missed while visiting the states, the other is coming up this Sunday; The Volcan Eco Extreme.

I had mixed feelings about signing up for this year’s race. Last year, it was one of my highlights of living here. Not only did it provide the rare opportunity to compete in a sport that I’ve been involved in since high school, but I also thoroughly enjoyed myself. The course was great. I felt great. I did well. I had a blast. A rare combination when it comes to racing. Typically, races are engaging and challenging, but rarely do I feel like doing a Tom Cruise couch jump about them.

Also, repeating a race as I get older becomes a stress test of my physical capabilities. I had doubts that I could run the same time as I did last year, so even if I were to manage to win my age group again, I’d know that I had lost to my slightly younger self - damned bastard! And what makes it worse is that I feel great, am injury free, and feel like I’m in a great place to race as far as conditioning goes. Maybe a little heavier than ideal, but my training session times are pretty comparable to last year.

But to my relief the course has been changed. The distance has been reduced from 22k to 16k and appears to be more of a road course than last years trail version. Actually, I prefer trails and had been gearing up that way.

Now I’ve got to re-work my kit based around wearing my only once used road racing flats. Kitting up has always been one of the more pleasurable stresses of racing for me. When I no longer care about what I’m wearing, I know it’ll be time to gently hobble away from the sport.

Michael: Forensic Files - Poultry Edition

The fighting rooster;
The last black and gold feathered
Beauty, has been killed.

Tuesday, April 26, 2016

Our neighbor and landlord, Luzmila, had a very handsome black feathered rooster. At one point he was one of three black feathered bachelor roosters that claimed her yard, ours and the vacant yard behind us, as their domain.

One of the roosters was killed by Luzmila’s dog, Lea. Another rooster was killed by a stray dog shortly after being injured in its only serious squabble with the other surviving rooster.

Down to one rooster, Luzmila decided to purchase a hen so it wouldn’t be lonely. Despite being a bachelor for the past year and half, the rooster seemed to quickly adjust to domestic life. If you believe that following your mate obsessively around the yard and mounting her now and then, the good life, this rooster was living it.

That is until our new neighbors, who now occupied the once vacant home behind us, decided that they too wanted a rooster and hens. Luzmila’s rooster apparently wasn’t keen on parting with what he saw as part of his range and would hop in the neighbors’ yard and try to run off the new rooster.

Luzmila told us, after she came home from a long day out a couple of days ago, that the new neighbors had informed her that her rooster was dead and lying in their yard. They asked if she’d like to see it. After looking it over, she believes they killed it by striking it in the head. That was the only observable injury and if it had been killed by another animal, it would’ve had other scratches and wounds.

She also accused them of both not being very bright nor very considerate. She doesn’t understand why they didn’t talk to her first about getting a rooster. Apparently, not all types of roosters get along and she feels since she had her rooster first, they should’ve discussed their plans with her before bringing another rooster into the area. Seems common sensical to us, but we don’t know how any of this country stuff works.

Luzmila is very upset about this and has requested that we don’t talk to the neighbors because she believes, for many reasons outside of poultrycide, they’re bad people. Since we don’t speak Spanish, we don’t really have any qualms about following this request.

Michael: No Pais for Lonely Old Men

Clouds above the clouds;
The gray skies form the canvas
Of a distant fog.

Monday, April 25, 2016

At our usual Sunday lunch at the Quetzal Lodge (Yes, I did receive yet another iteration of a banana split.) we ran into an ex-pat eating by himself.
He returned to Panama from Belize about 6 months ago. At one point he lived here with his Panamanian ex-wife.

Kimme asked him if he was still thinking of building here. He isn’t. He’s lonely and no longer believes that Panamanian women are right for him. They’re just interested in his money.

But he must have some pretty fond memories of living here to have chosen to come back to Volcan to look for companionship. This is a very small agricultural community. Outside of going out to eat, hiking or horseback riding (he doesn‘t hike or horseback ride anymore.), there isn’t anything to do here and the nearest form of entertainment is in David or Boquete, both a very long drive away.

I like it here, but not without Kimme. It’s beautiful, but definitely not the part of the country for lonely old men looking for companionship.

Michael: How to Eat a Cookie

The lizard scuttles
Across the rock then plunges
Into the shallows.

Sunday, April 24, 2016

Yesterday I learned how to eat a cookie while riding uphill on a bicycle.

Maybe, if I were 5 and not 57, this would be a feat worth running in the door to grab a family member to come out and say “Watch!”, but I beg to differ. Eating while riding is no easy trick, and a cookie on an uphill exponentially increases the level of difficulty. Coordinating chewing, breathing, pedaling and swallowing even on a downhill is a balancing act that if not done carefully can lead to fragments of cookie spit up all over your kit, or lodged in your nose, or gagging, or the dreaded hat trick of all three at once.

So why not just stick to gels? Two reasons: 1, They’re expensive and hard to come by here. 2, I listened to a podcast last week featuring the winner of the 2014 Western States 100. She eats solids early in the race before later switching to gels. I thought I’d give that strategy a try and I usually like to experiment with nutrition on the bike before taking it to the run. It’s just easier to digest on a bike.

And these cookies, Empradors, are cheap and plentiful here - less than 50 cents for a dozen. As far as nutrition and taste go, they’re nothing special; pretty much your typical generic Hydrox, two dry shells with a layer of industrial crème in the middle.

The initial tests did not go well. Chewing, stopping chewing to take in a few breaths, resuming chewing until I felt comfortable enough to attempt a swallow, was both labor intensive and frustrating.

Until I had that breakthrough moment. Instead of chewing first, I put the cookie whole (they’re pretty small) in my right cheek tobacco chewing style and decided to drink first. To experiment I swished a decent amount of water into the cookie cheek, and Voila! It dissolved into a paste even easier to swallow then most gels. By sheer trial and error I had discovered the secret to cookie riding success.

I know this doesn’t rank up there with the recent confirmation of Einstein’s gravity waves, but it puts a smile on my face.

Michael: The Breakdown

Chicken on the bus
With its cackles sticking out
Of the ragged bag.

Saturday, April 23, 2016

Thursday we waved goodbye to the empty shipping container we had loaded nearly a month ago in Los Angeles. At one dreamy point I had considered buying some containers and living in them, but after all the hassles and cost of shipping, living out of containers would only add to the headaches and expenses of dealing with containers and shipping. No, I’ve had my fill of containers and don’t plan on making any moves that will involve them for the foreseeable future.

Using S.D.C. International to ship, here is the breakdown of our costs with a few brief notes:

1. Shipping to Panama - $6,500
    That included transport and unloading from Panama City to our storage unit in Chiriqui. (We loaded the container ourselves in Los Angeles which saved a couple of thousand dollars, but limited our insurance options. We decided not to purchase marine insurance.)
2. U.S. Customs Inspection fee - $2,500.
3. Port Container Storage - $600 ($75 per day).
4. Container Retention - $ 424 ($28 per day).
(After 5 days the port in Panama assesses these fees. Our container was in the port for 13 days. Why the two separate fees, I don’t understand. Seems obvious to me that if it’s being stored it’s also being retained, but I’m not a shipper so the nuances of the trade are perhaps over my head.).
5. MSC THC - $254 The T.H.C. stands for Transport Handling Charge.
6. Customs Inspection Fee - $103
(This is where getting a Pensionado Visa is suppose to save you big bucks. Typically, I’ve been told, the customs fee can run between $2,000 - $5,000. Of course the Pensionado can run up to $2,000 after all the expenses and fees are added up, so it’s a bit of a wash if that’s the only reason you’re getting this type of visa.).

That’s a grand total of $10,011 which doesn’t include the expenses of rental trucks and movers at both ends of the move. Throw in those expenses and it’s closer to $10,500.

We were rookies at this and if I had done more research and planned better, we could’ve probably done it for substantially less. But it’s over and done with. If we move from here I feel it would be far less expensive and far more emotionally gratifying to take whatever goods we can’t give away and haul them up the volcano - Robert DiNero style in The Mission - and dumped them in there.

Michael: The Goods are Here

Neck bent in prayer
That someone will get off the bus
So I  can sit down.

Friday, April 22, 2016

Yesterday our container finally arrived at our storage unit in nearby Dolega.
Today I’ll talk about the experience of the move, tomorrow about the cost.

On Tuesday, Pablo, our moving agent in Panama informed us that our container would be out of port and on the road to us on Wednesday, but first we would have to pay the various fees. All right. He wanted me to make a bank transfer which I couldn’t do in one shot because the fees were over $1,000. He recommend we try Moneygram. We tried but it wouldn’t go through on-line.

By the end of Tuesday it was too late to get our container out of port that day, so Pablo said it would be there on Thursday. That would give us two days to withdraw money from the bank and we could pay him in cash on Thursday at the storage unit. That was acceptable.

I still didn’t want to contact Chiriqui Storage or arrange for a truck to move some of our goods to Volcan until I was assured our truck would be there Thursday. Wednesday he gave us that assurance.

Hellmut and Linda of Chiriqui Storage had given us some contacts of local movers, but only one of them spoke English so I called that person first. She quoted me a price of $180, which seemed a bit high to me, but with little time and not being able to speak Spanish confidently enough to be understood, I accepted.

On Thursday we hopped on the bus and arrived at storage just before 10.  While in transit we received texts and calls from Pablo, who was driving in from Costa Rica to meet the container in David, but couldn’t respond. Finally, at about 11, we were able to get his calls. He was in David and on his way. I called Gloria, the person I had arranged for a local truck with, and said two would be a good time for the movers to arrive at storage. Great, she’d come to the storage unit to get the cash payment and we’d be set.

Pablo arrived at 12 with a crew of movers and in an hour we had our goods separated into inside the storage unit and outside going to Volcan. U.S. customs had put their green “Inspected by U.S. Customs” across most of our boxes and had done a reasonable job of repacking the container. On our un-loading we couldn’t see any obvious damage.

We also have no idea what box they removed in the states. I thought for sure it was going to be the box of empty rifle shells I used for a piece of art, but it was there. Guess we’ll just have to wait until Homeland Security contacts us.

Surprisingly, Kimme found our locks we could use on the storage unit in one of our boxes, but I didn’t bring the keys because I thought in all the rush there’s no way they’d turn up. Had to buy a lock from Chiriqui Storage. A small expense all things considered, but sometimes it’s those paper cuts that push you over the edge as opposed to the big money wounds that were being inflicted on my weary financial resources.

Our local movers arrived right on schedule and within an hour we were loaded up and on our way to Volcan. The only glitch was that their truck would only hold three - the two of them and one of us. Hellmut and Linda had been kind enough to offer Kimme a ride to David, but they had to rescind that offer because they had promised another client to stay there until they arrived and they weren’t there yet. So it was wait for the bus for Kimme while I hopped on the cattle/moving truck.

The two local movers, with difficult to pronounce names, and I arrived in Volcan near 4 and were unloaded in less 45 minutes. All of the movers, Pablo’s crew and these local guys, did a great job and were all very careful and patient us.

Kimme was home by 5:30, just in time to walk with me to find gas ( one of our propane tanks had just run out as I wanted to take a shower.) and get something to eat.

The most unusual part of this for me was doing all of this in cash. That was $1800 worth of $20s I handed out in one afternoon. My wallet and I are far more relaxed and comfortable with amounts like the $15 that now reside in its once again slim pouch.

Michael: Unlicensed

Seven hours of rain
Falling at a steady pace
Ends the dry season.

Thursday, April 21, 2016

The computer I’m writing on now is an old Dell lap top that uses Windows Vista. I like it though it’s beginning to show its age.

Outside of the cursor jumping around now and then it works fine. Physically, who knows how long it could go on operating. But sadly, it’s being left behind by it’s friends; Windows and Google.

Microsoft pops up just about every morning letting me know that updates are available; one important update and various optional ones. But the old Vista refuses to accept that important update.

Similarly, Google has been threatening to pull updates from Chrome starting in April. They’re now telling me they’ve followed through on that threat. I’m not sure what that means for my old Dell and I. We’re not feeling left out at the moment.

For the past couple of weeks a little ominous talk bubble has been popping up telling me I’m now an unlicensed user. That sounds ominous, but it either fades away or I click on the small x and it disappears. I had no idea I was ever licensed or that one was required to operate this computer. Now I feel a bit rogue using it. At some point the computer will probably start informing me of the consequences of continuing to keyboard without the proper authorization, but until then I’m going to keep tapping away.

Michael: The Bicycle Brake Saga Rolls to a Stop

An afternoon rain
Is a wonderful reason
To relax and read.

Wednesday, April 20, 2016

For the past couple of days I’d come downstairs and look at the blank wall where I type and feel an odd sensation like something wasn’t right. It wasn’t. My bike wasn’t there. But this morning it’s back where it belongs, nice and dry, leaning up against it’s wall waiting for tomorrow’s ride.

It wasn’t there because Adrian of A.D.N. bikes was replacing its brake pads. He was also going to bleed the brakes, but couldn’t find the Dot 5.1 fluid my brakes require. He says he has a friend that’ll look for it in David, but I should be fine for at least 6 months. He charged me $8.

When I picked up the bike he was watching a video of it on his computer and says he’s quite impressed with the bike. Seems odd to take compliments for an inanimate object that I had nothing to do with except buy it, but whatya going to do?

My only regret with our transaction is I didn’t leave him a tip. I’ve never tipped a mechanic before, but he’s a small one man show and he just opened a few months ago. Mind you, I don’t plan on doing anything that’ll require more work to be done, but I’ll have to think of some reason to go back there and give him a little more business to help him stay up and running in Volcan.

Michael: Banana Splits

As green as the leaves
With a short dark yellow beak
The finch is at home.

Tuesday, April 19, 2016

Sundays, after our trail run, we’ve been having lunch at the Quetzales Lodge. They’re always very cordial on Sunday mornings calling us a cab to take us to the trailhead, so having lunch there is our way of repaying their kindness. They also have a very good salad bar and a few other enjoyable items on their menu.

One of those items that they’ve only recently added is a banana split; a treat I haven’t indulged in in years. Hey, after 3 hours of running/hiking the Quetzales Trail, why not? A salad topped off with a banana split sounds pretty good.

I’ve ordered this combo three times and to my surprise and amusement, I’ve always received a different interpretation of the split. Split one had two whole bananas uncut with scoops of vanilla ice cream down the center drizzled with chocolate sauce. No nuts.

Split two had two bananas, but this time they were cut into 4 lengthwise pieces, again with vanilla ice cream and chocolate sauce, but this time there was also nuts and even a cherry on top. Ahhh, the classic. I think they’ve got it down.

 Not quite. Split three had two bananas, one whole laid in the center of the dish propped up by a banana that had been cut into discs like you’d put on top of cereal, along with the ice cream, but now it was drizzled with chocolate and a cherry sauce but without nuts.

I was going to go away from the split and order a more nutritious item like soup, but they’ve peaked my curiosity and I think I’ll keep ordering splits until they run out of variations.

Michael: The Bike Shop

The river crossing
Though only an ankle deep
Is a splash of joy.

Monday, April 18, 2016

With bleed kit and brake pads in hand, I rode my bike 5 minutes down the road to A.D.N. Bike shop.

Fortunately Adrian - A.D.N. - who runs the shop speaks better English than I do Spanish, and along with the visual aids of the kit and pads, understood what I wanted done. I brought my bike in on Saturday and he said it could be ready by Monday if he could find the necessary brake fluid; all for $18. That’s a deal.

My only question was whether he wanted me to leave the bike or bring it back on Monday. He wanted me to leave it. He took out a journal, pretty much like my writing journal, and asked for my name and number and that was it; no invoice, no claim ticket, just a handshake and out the door I go.

I felt a bit strange leaving my bike there. It’s a very, very small shop and I doubt Adrian would be able to replace my bike if it were stolen. But Volcan is also a very small town and it feels right to trust Adrian if he believes my bike is safe with him. Maybe that’s the way it’s done still in some small towns in the states, but I’ve never lived in a small town before, so this is a new experience for me.

Michael: The Fix

Frog hides in the grass
Waiting for darkness to fall
And the bugs to move.

Sunday, April 17, 2016

Without water and not knowing when we’d have water again, I thought this would be a good time to head to the store and buy a couple of five gallon jugs. We could use them for drinking water then afterwards fill them up with tap and that way we’d always have a decent amount of water on hand in case the water goes out again or we have a decent size earthquake.

On our walk on the road to catch the bus we saw where the PVC water pipe was busted. It was right next to one of the new power poles that was put up last year but hasn’t been wired yet. There was a large rock marking the spot So the water people know about it, I thought. That’s great, but just to be on the safe side, when we get back from the store I’ll give our neighbor and landlord, Luzmila, a call.

I called Luzmila and she told me the water company were on their way. I told her I knew where the leak was, but she didn’t quite understand me, so I went to meet her to show her.

Walking down the dirt road to the main paved road I met Luzmila and her brother and could see the water company truck parked on the main road right next to the leak. All is well and good, I figured, but we weren’t quite there yet. Luzmila told me they were looking for the leak but hadn’t found it, which led me to deduce, Sherlock Holmes style, that they weren’t the ones that marked the leak with the rock.

We all walked over to the leak. Luzmila called the workers from the small stream bed and showed them the leak right next to the power pole. The workers removed the large rock and a small gush of water spewed out. I’m guessing the power line workers I’ve seen doing some kind of measuring lately accidentally broke the pipe and covered up the mini fire hydrant leak with the rock without informing the water people.

Luzmila said she’d call the water company and let them know about their workers’ negligence, but I don’t expect much will come of it. I’ll talk to her later to see what they said. But at least we have water and a few extra jugs in case another worker or cow breaks the line again.

Michael: Even by Volcan Standards

Climb the jagged edge
With tree roots as rails to pull
Yourself to the top.

Saturday, April 6, 2016

This has been an unusual week so far. Monday - water outage; Thursday - power outage; and Friday afternoon and continuing through this early Saturday, another water outage. Usually the power outages last a few minutes at the most and the water outages maybe a few hours. This is the first time in the year and a half that we’ve lived here I let dirty dishes sit overnight in the sink.

Still, we are a little better off than most of our Panamanians neighbors. Because our cottage was built for an American, it has an auxiliary pressure  pump. This pump is fed by a very large plastic drum that holds 40 gallons of water (I’m making that number up. It’s large, but capacity isn’t a forte of mine.). We don’t use it very often, usually the water pressure is adequate, and the electric pump is annoying. It sounds like an amped up cricket.

Once the water’s back up and running, I’m going to have to ask our landlord what she and other Panamanians do when they run out of water for an extended period of time. She has three other adults living with her, and the neighbor behind us has at least two young adult males living with her. Do they just wait it out? Fetch water from a stream? Have a spare drum on hand?  Buy bottled water from the store? I really have no idea, but we’re all humans with human water needs. If and when our water runs out I’m thinking the store will be our best option, but maybe my eyes are closed to simpler and more obvious solutions.

Michael: A Bleed Kit?

I prefer the rain
To the dreary laziness
Of this dull grey sky.

Friday, April 15, 2016

A bleed kit? Sounds like something a hands off vampire would use, or an eighteenth century physician. I am neither of those, yet yesterday I acquired my first bleed kit.

It’s for my bicycle. Which I think sounds even more bizarre than if it were for my personal use. Imagine a bicycle bleeding and needing a bleed kit?
But mine does. It’s got hydraulic brakes and I’ve read that it’s healthy to bleed them at least once a year.

I’m not going to do it. I’m not confident I have the skills at the moment, and I don’t want to be racing down a hill wondering if my bike’s veins are going to hold up, or if at any moment a gush of fluid is going to bleed out causing  my bike to zip off the road and crash and later we’d both be found lying in pools of our intermingling blood.

No, the person at the bike shop about 15 minutes away will have the honor of replacing the fluid and brake pads on my bike. Really, I ordered the bleed kit for him, for now. Maybe someday after I watch enough videos and read up on it a bit more, I’ll be confident enough to bleed my own bicycle. I know it sounds gruesome, but I bet anyone who does a good job of bleeding something feels proud and who knows what else.

Michael: Pup

On wings of vapor
And dust the butterflies rise
Like small white angels.

Thursday, April 14, 2016

The one relationship we worried about changing when we left to visit the states last month was with our neighbor’s dog we call “Pup“. We wondered  if he’d still come by to greet us just about every time we came back home from some downtown errand. Seeing him run toward us with all that positive energy was a real spirit lifter.

And it did change. We’d walk home and call and he wouldn’t come. We walked by his house and often he wasn’t there. Sometimes we’d see him wandering a mile or more away from home a long way from where he use to roam. His owners, our neighbors must’ve also became concerned because we notice that now he’s tethered in their yard.

That’s the way it is with a lot of dogs around here. They’re either allowed to roam free or kept on leashes. Out in the country most fences are made of simple cattle wire that do nothing to prevent a dog from coming and going as it pleases, so many people tether their dogs on very short runs to either a tree or a dog house.

It’s very sad to us and now it seems that one of the few friends we’ve made in Panama will be living that kind of life.

Michael: Buzzed

Security bars
Give the bird a place to perch
And look down on me.

Wednesday, April 13, 2016

It’s the little things. In this case it’s the little things with wings - mosquitoes.

Last year, inside and around our cottage, we didn’t worry about the little blood suckers, but for some reason this past month we’ve been annoyed by a few late night strafings.

We looked for mosquito netting to keep them at bay while we were in Boquete, but no such luck.

Without a net, we’ve turned to a Raid plug in and it seems to be working. But I don’t want that to be a long term solution because whatever chemicals it’s giving off, we’re inhaling as well, and I’m not keen on Larry H. Parker and Associates representing my loved ones after I’ve keeled over by some bizarre ailment.

Thanks to trusty old Google, a simple and clean solution will be to use a fan. Damned little mosquitoes are notoriously weak flyers and a little fan generated wind storm should keep them at bay.

We’ve dealt with fruit flies. Ants are an annoyance but not driving us crazy. And now mosquitoes. No idea what little buggers will welcome themselves over in the near future, but the net always seems to have a pretty reasonable solution.

Michael: Monday, Mondays

The scold of darkness;
The roar becomes a whisper-
A calm gentle hush.

Tuesday, April 12, 2016

When I was working I had two low energy points during the week; Monday mornings and Tuesday afternoons. Tuesday afternoons were faculty meeting days. Tuesdays are fine now, but I still have a hard time shaking the Monday morning blues.

Without pay as a motivator, I’ve resorted to routinely doing laundry Monday morning. Once the machine stops and I’ve spent some time on my feet hanging the laundry on the line, I figure I might as well stay up and get my easy Monday morning run in.

But yesterday the system broke down. We had no water. Hence no laundry could be done and I didn’t have to feel bad about not running because I might not be able to take a shower when I finished. So there was nothing to do but wait and let the magic of Panama determine how the day would go.

Within a few hours the water was back up and in the meantime I had talked to our landlord about our nonfunctioning phone. Her brother looked at it; opened it up and cleaned it, and now it’s working again.

The water’s running. The phone’s working, and another Monday morning is over and done with.

Michael: Play

The sun and the mist
Swirled into a mixture
Of spring refreshment.

Monday, April 11, 2016

This was a very lucky weekend for me.

On Saturday, on my way back up the hill from Bugaba, I  looked down at my front wheel and noticed what I thought was a discoloration on a new a brand new tire. It wasn’t. Apparently, I hadn’t installed the tire properly and part of the bead had come off the rim. I was lucky I hadn’t chosen a very treacherous route or I could’ve easily rolled the tire off and taken a nasty fall.

Yesterday, for the first time in almost a year and a half of living here, someone actually ran with me on part of a trail. I happen to pass a large group on a very steep down hill section and since everyone was carrying a decent size pack, I didn’t figure anyone would give chase. But I could here that one person, I presumed a young guy, was trying to keep up and he did for about a quarter of a mile until I caught up with Kimme and stopped to tell her I was going to run until the paved road, then I’d walk until she caught up with me.

I encouraged the guy to continue running but he pointed to his somewhat rotund belly and displayed his non-gloved hands, and I understood. But it was fun to do “the boys will be boys” thing for at least a short stretch of the trail.

I’ve never enjoyed getting hurt. I’d be very happy if I never fall again, though I somewhat expect that’s not very plausible. But here I am, almost 60 and I still like to go “Whee!” downhill on a bike and I still like to play chase in the woods.

Michael: Mysteries

White noise racing through
The canyon brushes away
Two legged chatter.

Saturday, April 10, 2016

We trail run twice a week and outside of covering up a bit more to protect myself from insect bites, I’ve pretty much stopped worrying about any large hazardous creatures, like snakes out there.

In Southern California there’s mountain lions and rattlesnakes, but I’ve only seen a mountain lion once, and that was in Central California, and rattlers only a couple of times. Outside of spotting feral pigs a couple of times, I haven’t seen anything here to get my heart racing. Running here has pretty much become as casual as it was in the states.

No, it’s not the animals lurking in the forest that I’m dreading meeting face to face. It’s the nocturnal creature lurking right outside our back door that has my palms sweating.

Since we’ve returned from the states there has consistently been a small black dried cigar like feces on our back porch. It can’t be a dog or a large bird, but it’s got to be somewhere in that size range. I have a feeling it may be the rather large frog we use to see now and then that may have morphed into some kind of creature from the black lagoon/frog hybrid.

Whatever it is, when I come across it, I’m afraid I’m going to embarrass myself because I’m going to shriek like a teenaged babe in a horror film.

Michael: Bernie; No Mas

Fear is behind you.
Fear is hiding up the road.
Fear is where you are.

Saturday, April 9, 2016

If we didn’t get hit too hard on taxes I promised I’d donate to Bernie one last time. But this it, Bernie.

Since I donated my $27 last month Bernie has asked me at least twice a day to make further contributions. Bernie, if I donated every time you asked me to, I’d be one of those fat cat Hillary donors you complain so much about.

I do hope you become President. I’ll probably vote for you whether your name’s on the ballot or not. But the next time you ask for a campaign contribution, which I’m sure will be sometime this morning, I’ll proudly tap the blue $27 rectangle for the second and last time.

Michael: Income Taxes

Fighting a headwind
Is worth the pat on the back
On the return home.

Friday, April 8, 2016

This year is the first year we’re claiming to be non-residents of the U.S. on our income taxes. I didn’t expect that to have much of an effect on our Federal taxes, but I was curious how it would effect our state taxes since we didn’t pay any state taxes last year.

We did use the Health Exchange in 2014 and I was a little concerned if we would get dinged for not using it last year, but there is a foreign residence exemption.

In 2014 we owed California $46 in taxes and last year we owed $150. The Feds are giving us $191 back so it pretty much balances out.

I’m not sure why we as non residents should have to bother with U.S. taxes at all, but I’m not a pitch fork thumping crusader or hide in the woods anarchist. I just punch the keys on my computer and hope to break even.

Michael: The Postman Never Rings At All

The bulging knuckles
Of the witch’s hands meekly
Droop toward the earth.

Thursday, April 7, 2016

When we need to send documents here we use a private courier system like Fed Ex. There are post offices here, but no Postman like delivery service. The post offices have P.O. boxes, but we don’t know anyone that has one.

 Airbox Express is a company that we have a contract with to have mail delivered to us from the states, but unfortunately their office in Volcan isn’t set up to send packages yet. To send our notarized documents to our custom’s agent, I walked to Uno Express near the parque in Volcan.

 Here is the address I was told to send the documents to:

Panaglobal Logistics Solutions
Vista Hermosa Calle Primera
Edif. Movisa (la calle del corcel)
Panama City

This is how mail is done here. Notice there are no address numbers. Mail is routed by referencing cross streets and building names.

The very nice clerk at Uno spoke a little English and the first thing she did was get up and walk to a poster and asked if I wanted my envelope delivered there. That was a Vista Hermosa drop off and that would only cost me $4. To send it to the Movisa building in Panama City would cost $12. I opted for the building drop off for $12. She told me it would be delivered the next day and I was on my way back home.

$12 for overnight delivery for a distance that’s comparable to L.A. to San Francisco seems reasonable to me. But the lack of building addresses and zip codes still makes me a bit nervous.

Michael: Another Piece of the Puzzle

The drive to the coast
Is a useless penance
On the road to hell.

Wednesday, April 6, 2016

We have signed a contract with Hellmut and Linda Pederson of Chiriqui Storage for a 12’x8’x9’ storage unit. The unit will cost us $118. Really not a substantial savings from a similar unit in the states, but at least our goods will be reasonably close by.

Next, once we have a confirmed date for our goods to be delivered from Panama City, we’ll need to arrange to rent a truck to deliver some of our goods to Volcan. They don’t have U-Haul here, but there are plenty of trucks and the Pederson’s were kind enough to give us several names of people to call. Not sure what the costs of that will be.

Meanwhile, I’ll be sending our notarized documents to Pablo in Costa Rica via Airbox Express and keeping my fingers crossed that they make the border crossing safely. To be on the safe side, I always have duplicate copies on hand. But so far nothing’s been lost via any courier service we’ve used.

Now it’s time to sit still and take care of some electronic business overseas;  our taxes.

Michael: Potasa

Dusty marshmallows
Float out of reach of the child
I feel I still am.

Tuesday, April 5, 2016

Our toilet has been a little sluggish lately so we decided to try the solution recommended by the lady who runs the Chinese store in Cerro Punta. She sold us a product called Potasa. The directions are only in Spanish, but I think I figured them out. Here they are:

Disolver el conteinido en dos litros de agua, inmedialmente adicionelo a lo que este trancado.
Dejelo actuar por los menos de 2 de 5 horas.

No lo adicione en estado solido, puede trancar las tuberias.

I looked up the verb - trancar - which my dictionary tells me means “to slide along”. I presume “flushing” is a satisfactory synonym.  That would make sense to me in the first two directions but puzzles me in the last clause, which I believe is a warning not to use in water that isn’t  moving or you could harm your pipes.

Anyway, what I did seems to have worked. But that first flush was a little nerve wracking. Hopefully, that’ll be the end of the potty talk for a while. Never one of my favorite subjects.

Michael: Bicycle Parts

The music gallops
At a traditionally
Proud Spanish horse pace.

Monday, April 4, 2016

My bicycle needs new brake pads. Because I have SRAM hydraulic road brakes, the pads are not easy to find. Even in the states when I called around, no shop had them on hand.

On March 25 I placed a $100 dollar order for brake pads, a tire, and a hand carry water bottle from Chain Reaction Cycles, a British company. They only charge $16 for shipping. DHL in Panama called me on Friday, April 1 to tell me my order was ready to pick up in David. Not bad, really; just a little over a week to get here. They’d even bring my parcel up to Volcan, but only on Tuesdays. This Tuesday we’re going to be in Boquete, so I’ll pick it up in David.

The cost that really hurts is the duty charge. On this order that’s $30. And then there’s the cost of my stupidity. I forgot to order a brake fluid bleed kit. That’s going to cost me another week of waiting and the additional $16 shipping charge and whatever duty is going to be on that order.

So my word to the wise is, and sadly I’m going to have to excude myself from that group, when you visit the states order small items that you need that are hard to find overseas and make room in your luggage for them. Secondly, if you do place an overseas shipping order, order what you need all at once. You’ll save both time and money. And finally, if you’re going to invest in anything new, like hydraulic brakes on road bicycles, expect that it’s going to cost you a bit extra in both time and money. And a bit more of both when you live in a small community in a small Central American country.

Michael: Snapped

The cold bites the nose,
Fingertips and toes without
Drawing any blood.

Sunday, April 3, 2016

Two items that are always on my To - Do list are to write and exercise every morning. On our long errand day Friday I did get up early enough to write, but I didn’t exercise.

That was the third day this year I missed. Prior to that I had gone about 800 days without missing a day of exercise. Since Halloween of 2011 I’ve missed 4 days.  I have a workout scheduled for everyday. My intention is to one day cross the 1,000 day in a row barrier. But I’m just trying to take it day by day and not become too neurotic about it.

After all, the goal really should be to live a long healthy life. The streak helps, but an occasional day off wouldn’t set me back, and in the case of injury or illness, would probably be advisable. But I like streaks and I am a bit neurotic about certain things.

I figure April Fools Day, just like Halloween, is a good day to start another streak.

Next Tuesday we have another long errand day planned and if I’ve learned anything during this attempt to workout everyday it’s that on long errand days, I should get up a little earlier than normal and get my workout in before the day gets away from me.

Some day I’ll get there. One day at a time. On some days that’s going to have to be one very early morning at a time.

Michael: An Errand

The fluffy knit balls
Decorate the old man’s hat
As he heads to town.

Saturday, April 2, 2016

Occasionally, it’s a pain in the butt not to have a car. Yesterday was one of those occasions.

We had three errands scheduled yesterday: 1. have copies of Kimme’s passport notarized, 2. Meet Pablo, our shipping agent, at the bus terminal to give him the notarized documents, 3. Go to the bank and grocery shop.

This is a timeline of how the day went. With a car, it still would’ve been a long morning, but I’m sure it would’ve taken half the time.

7:50 - Leave the house and walk to the bus stop.
8:30 - Board the bus to David.
10:00-Arrive in David. Take taxi from terminal to notary.
10:15-Arrive at notary.
12:15-Leave notary with documents. Take taxi back to terminal.
12:30-Call Pablo. Have lunch at terminal.
1:45 - Pablo calls. Says his cell phone died and that he has some business to
          Attend to before he could drive to David. Can meet us in a couple of  
          Hours or we can make other arrangements to receive documents. We
          Opt to go home.
2:05 - Board bus to Volcan.
3:45 - Arrive in Volcan. Walk to the bank and grocery store.
4:30 - Take taxi home.
4:45 - Ahhh…home at last.

Days like yesterday don’t happen often enough to justify the expense of a car, and really the bus and taxi rides are relatively expedient and enjoyable, but when you string them all together into one long day, they can wear you down and make you envious of all these little wind up toy cars they drive around here.

Michael: Whimsy

The rising  thunder
From the orchestra of rain
Is deeply moving

Friday, April 1, 2016

The leprechauns and gremlins continue to do occasional small spiteful battles around our cottage in Panama.

Yesterday morning I picked up the phone that hadn’t been working for nearly a week and, without any human intervention that I know of, it was working again.

Hold it a second…Yes, it’s still working.

We won’t need to call in the landlord or get a new phone. Hopefully it’ll still be up and running tonight so we can call home and talk to our moms in the states on their far more mundane telephones to let them know that the spirits around here are still at their childish games.

Michael: Land Line

A scattered rain sweeps
Through the fading afternoon
Before the night weeps.

March 31, 2016

Panama is no different than the states in that a land line phone is quickly becoming a relic of the past. However, we have one because it’s a lot cheaper to call the states with one than it is using a cell phone.

But last week the magic and mystery of Panama struck again. After a few days of strong winds our phone line was down. Two days later it was repaired and back up and we made a few calls home. But now, for some reason, the phone is only allowing us to dial part way through the process before it gives out.

We’re not sure if it’s something in the line or just an old phone that’s had enough. We’ll have to once again turn to our trusty landlord to help us figure it out. I’m hoping she’ll loan us her phone to see if it’s the connection or the phone that’s the problem.

Either way, I’m sure it’ll all be put back together and up and running until the gods of Panama decide to toy with us again.

Michael: Storage

The breaking silence
Now and then by gliding wings
Carries away dreams.

Wednesday, March 30, 2016

Choosing a storage unit was easier than I wanted it to be.

For one, there are only two choices in the Chiriqui region; Chiriqui Storage in Dolega and Almecenes just outside David. Chiriqui Storage is run by an ex-pat couple and Almecenes is a chain with locations throughout Panama. I was hoping there would be a little competition for our business between the two, but that just didn’t happen.

 Without a car and with the storage units at least an hour and a half by bus away from Volcan, risking a walk in visit to gather information to either facility is impractical and shouldn’t be necessary. Whenever I made e-mail inquiries about units or pricing to Chiriqui storage I got a prompt response from either Hellmut or Linda, the owners. I e-mailed Almecenes 3 times and called twice and never received a response. That made the choice pretty easy.

Chiriqui storage is a bit further away from us than Amacenes but they do have a regular flea market where we could try to sell off any goods we no longer feel are worth storing. They don’t have any air conditioned units and I’m sure it gets pretty hot there, so I’ll probably ending up bringing some sensitive materials to Volcan.

The pricing isn’t much different than we were paying in the states. A 20’x8’x8’ rents for $175 a month and a 12’x8’x8’ goes for $100. I’m hoping we can use the smaller unit.

Next week we’ll head over there by bus to look the units over and hopefully sign a contract.

Michael: Al Franken For President

Fog is a dreary
Gray tattered blanket that chills
A shivering coast.

Tuesday, March 29, 2016

Current Minnesota Senator Al Franken wrote a very funny book about running for president in which his main campaign issue is ATM processing fees. He is opposed to them and paints Al Gore as being in big banks’ pocket and in favor of them. Now that I’m paying $9 bucks a crack for using the ATM here in Panama, I’m considering writing in Franken’s name if Bernie doesn’t win the nomination.

The reason for the high fee is I’m being hit by a double whammy;  the banks in Panama are charging me $4 a shot and then B. of  A. at the other end is hitting me with a $5 charge. We have opened a bank account at a Banistmo, a bank in Panama, but we’ve only have the account minimum in at the moment.

I considered writing a check to increase the balance enough to where I could start making withdrawals here, but it can take over three weeks for a U.S. check to clear. Instead, I’ll see if I can figure out how to make a transfer to myself from my B. of  A. to Banistmo. Really that shouldn’t be too difficult, but I’m becoming even more of a skeptic since I’ve moved to Panama and I’m hesitating because I don’t want my money to end up somewhere in the ether of the internet.