Coyotes howl
As the ambulance sirens
Pass by the park.
Monday, May 14, 2018
For the record, I’m not homeless though I am in a quasi-vagrant state. I’m splitting my time between living in my wife’s friend’s garden utility shed, the old bedrooms of my nephews, and a night or two in an Airstream at work.
This situation arises from the convergence of the two major dilemmas of life in Southern California; drive time and housing costs. My wife and dog are not working. They’re housed at my sister’s in San Clemente for a reasonable $750. But I work in Malibu and Westlake Village. That’s why I’m renting the shed near Hollywood. The Airstream is a kindness from my employer when I’ve been assigned a short turn around from a late afternoon shift followed by an early morning shift the next day.
Yet none of this bouncing around amuses me as much as my one day shift at a 5 star hotel where I’ve discovered, if I were homeless, I believe I could live quite comfortably for quite some time.
Here are the caveats:
1. The hotel must be large enough to house many diverse programs and personnel.
2. You must be willing to dress in a simple uniform; for example, matching t-shirt and shorts.
If you can meet these criteria simply google or inquire what the hours of the ongoing program of your choosing is at the hotel you‘ve decided upon. Hang around enough to figure out a few key employee entries. Ask simple questions. And enjoy.
With these basics down I’ve eaten at the hotel cafeteria, worked out in the gym, and showered at the very nice spa of the hotel. No one has questioned me at all. I simply stated that I’m new to the program and was wondering where the cafeteria/gym/showers were? And now that I know where these basics are, I just walk with confidence wherever I need to go. Would I ever have the guts to do this if I were truly homeless? I doubt it, but someone out there ought to give it a go. And if you do, please give me the thumbs up when we pass in those dreary employee only tunnels.
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