The Jitters

 Lonely howls

Pierce the indifferent cold

Before the sunrise.

Thursday, August 19, 2021

 Races don’t make me as nervous as they use to. In fact, it’s actually a relief now to get race nerves as I worry if my body doesn’t go through its usual race preparations. Arriving early and getting in multiple visits to the porta-potty lets me know that my mind/body are in sync and are preparing for some serious business.

 And speaking of serious business…

 What really gives me the jitters is when my boss walks past me and tells me not to leave before seeing her.

 That doesn’t happen often but unlike racing it’s never what I signed up for.

 Fortunately, lately it’s been about minor details like scheduling changes. But it does help put into perspective what’s worth stressing over.

A Second Try

Bands of diffused light

Reaches from the living sun

To touch our faces.

 Thursday, August 12, 2021

 I never set out in life to be a role model, but that seems to have been my fate.

 For 25 years I was an elementary school teacher. I didn’t start out wanting to teach, but as with many of my fellow liberal arts majors looking for gigs, adding on the additional year it takes to earn a teaching credential while we figure out what we want to do seemed like a better option than continuing in the economic dregs of retail.

 The years just kept adding up and while I never experienced that “I found my calling” moment, I did feel I grew competent enough in the job to keep at it.

 Part of what goes into teaching is knowing that you’ve got 20/30 children looking at you everyday to see how you’re handling yourself and others under all kinds of circumstances. And in that respect, I thought I did a decent job of developing an environment of trust and affection. And that goes a long way in making teaching both enjoyable and honorable.

 Now in my second career as a program guide at a high-end wellness center, I have again stumbled into a job that has placed in the position of role model.

 At 63 I am older than almost all our guests and for many reasons I am in generally better shape than most. Often that means I’m held up as an exemplar of the program. But although I do believe there are many positive aspects to our program, it’s not how I got to where I am.

 But I don’t mind.  I do feel it’s rewarding to be admired for my health. It’s not nearly the burden I felt while teaching and it prods me to continue to look after myself.

The Plot Thickens

 

Elaborate dreams

Mystify

Why

Should I awake

When

Living on my side

Is so

So satisfying?

 Friday, August 6, 2021

 I work with a few people who for various reasons have not gotten the vaccine. One of those person’s reasoning is that Bill Gates and his cadre of evil masterminds wants to substantially reduce the human population.

 But I don’t believe they’ve thought this all the way through to fully appreciate what an evil genius Mr. Gates is.

 I believe that Mr. Gates in cahoots with the Chinese government created the virus.

 He also understood that in the unlikely case an effective vaccine was produced, he would be associated with it because of his speaking out about this type of pandemic years ago. And that association would cause many wackos to forego getting the vaccine.

 This in turn would allow the virus to mutate and spread and further his diabolical aims of reducing the population.

 It’s an evil genius/conspiracy wacko catch 22. That damned evil bastard.

Minimizing Risks

 Eyes flicker; legs twitch.

She is moving through a dream

Of hunting her prey.

Minimizing Risks: Friday, July 30, 2021

 After a four-month hiatus from cycling I am perhaps a week away from getting back in the saddle.

 This is both compelling and worrisome. Compelling because I’ve always enjoyed riding. Worrisome because in the past 5 years I’ve had three accidents, two hospital visits, 33 stitches in my face and surgery to repair my right clavicle.

 There’s an itch of doubt that I’m getting too old for this.

 So what changes can I make to try to remain competitive and minimize the risks of another injury?

 For one, I’m going to limit my exposure by only riding once a week outside. I’ll do that on Tuesdays avoiding the weekend cars and crowds on PCH.

 I’ll also start from Michael Landon Park as opposed to riding from home like I use to; a short but decent drive from some of the busier sections of PCH.

 For now I’m also going to avoid the fantastic canyons of the Santa Monicas and stick to out and back rides on PCH. I’m training for duathlons and as much as I enjoy the hills, my bike isn’t set up for them and I’m not sure I have the nerve for it at the moment. Once I build up some confidence I’ll fix up my damaged Cervelo and give it a go.

 Until then the plan is one indoor/one outdoor ride per week. Will two rides be enough? I’ll find out in February when I hope to compete in Powerman Arizona.

Limbo

The zzz of a fly

Moves in and out of focus

As my life stands still.

 July 24, 2021

 Almost four months have passed since my clavicle was broken and to this day I have no idea what the final economic or legal ramifications will be.

 Medically, I have received a few inconsequential bills. My surgery, which was supposedly covered by Trinity Healthshare, went well. But I have neither received a bill, an itemization of the costs, or a claim for my deductible.

 Two weeks ago Trinity sent an email stating that they were no longer operating in California. A week after that they sent out a notice that they were filing for bankruptcy protection.

 Not sure where that leaves me, but maybe someday it’ll all shake out.

 Similarly, after receiving a small claims court date, but with the wrong defendant listed, I have, for more than a month now, been waiting for a correction from the court.

 I’m dubious I’ll receive my day in court, or that given a positive outcome I’ll be able to collect from the skateboarder that caused my injuries.

 Is this the best of all possible worlds? Clearly not. A little closer to the The Trial and Metamorphosis if you ask me. Kafka, turns out, was not a literary genius, but merely a journalist slightly ahead of his time.  

The Memo on the M.O.

The tambourine leaves

Shaking in the willow’s hands;

A sunny folk song.

 Thursday, July 15, 2021

The weather’s been a hot topic lately (That’s a pun.). It’s also been a subject of linguistic humor as well.

 My wife is bi-lingual having been raised in Taiwan by an American father and educated at an international school. But she does occasionally misuse American colloquialisms.

 For instance, a couple of days ago we woke up to an unexpected light rain.

My wife claimed that the weather people must not have sent us the M.O.

 That confused me.

 I said, “Did you mean memo?”

 Given that they sound quite a bit alike, her swapping of phrases was understandable.

And also very amusing, at least to me.

Validation

 The desert willow

Angelic white pink flowers

Grace the dry landscape.

 Tuesday, July 6, 2021

 Turns out I was right all along. Well, truly more luckily ignorant.

 I’ve never been much of a practitioner of LSD training, not even when I was convinced it was the right way to go. Like most people holding a Monday-Friday; 9-5 type job, getting more than one multi-hour run per week is a tough ask.

 So I tried work arounds by doing a long run/ride on weekends with tempo and brick training during the week. I followed that pattern for a good 20 years before stopping the brick workouts all together about 10 years ago as there just weren’t many duathlons to train for. Though I am planning to compete in multi-sport events again soon and may throw an occasional short brick workout in here and there.

Currently I’ve modified my workouts slightly based on recent readings and watchings that advocate short sprint work. Along with that workout, I’m doing one two/three hour run per week along with an interval session of 5- three minute hard efforts followed by a ten/twenty minute tempo run.

 Yesterday was my first 5k race in a year and a half. I finished fourth overall and first in my age. Pretty much what I was doing before the pandemic.  My goal is to go under 20, but at this event I recorded a 20:50. The course was a shade long though and rolling, so I still believe my 5k time goal is within reach.

 It’s difficult to assess whether my tweaks in training have made much of a difference as I’ve never made the big leap from LSD to higher intensity training. But given my consistent results over many years I’m confident my anecdotal evidence along with current studies is all the proof I need that my fortuitously ignorant training plan was and is the right way to go.