Attack

Scrub jay balances

On the most fragile of twigs

Because it knows how.

 Friday, October 1, 2021

 Outside of rabbits, squirrels, and coyotes our dog Luna doesn’t attack. However, if provoked she will aggressively defend herself.

 That is a part of her nature I wish I had. But I’m not a half pit bull half lab mix. A mix yes, but from a more refined small European stew. And at a scrawny 145 lbs. my nature isn’t to bolt to attention and take a bold stance daring you to come at me; catch me if you can are where my genes direct me.

 And that’s probably allowed me to get to be 63 without any physical confrontations. But I am a competitor and to some extent that must mean there’s some small bit of fighting will rumbling somewhere down in my Id.

 Now whether that’s a good thing who knows. I know many whom believe peace, love and cooperation are the way to go. But I admit that I don’t feel hurt or sorrowful on the rare occasions when my dog has drawn blood in self-defense.

 Likewise I relish the idea of being a lone wolf on trail capable of taking a bold stance and charging into the wind when called upon hoping to draw blood; if only figuratively. 

Dirty Old Men

 Three deer crossed my path

As I jogged up the canyon.

This morning is blessed.

Thursday, September 16, 2021

 When I started running with the Santa Monica Trail Runners Club about twenty years ago or so, there were a few very energetic older men who very much enjoyed flirting with women of all ages. Many of us could see that this was off-putting to many of the women.

 That isn’t to say that it was always agreeable when younger dudes flirted. But let’s be honest about how humans work. This was a club that promoted people to come out and run and socialize together. There’s bound to be some flirting/dating among individuals voluntarily coming together to engage in likeminded physical activity.

 So where the line is drawn between flirting and creepy isn’t always so clear cut. Yet it was easy to see in some situations these old dudes were just sadly and strangely oblivious to the fact that the age difference between some of the women they chose to rub up against should’ve been easily recognized as inappropriate.

 And now the truly sad part; I may now be one of those older men. And from my vantage point I can now very much empathize with the older men I use to run with.

 I’m not running with the club anymore, but I do work for a wellness center and I’m near the point where I’m getting to be close to many of our guests’ father’s age.

 And the irony is that my scope for what women I find attractive has definitely widened from mid 50s to mid-20s.

 From my previous experiences watching older men, I’m doing my best to reign myself in and not be just another dirty old man. Yet I’m also tempted to believe that there must be an exception to the rule and with my fairly decent job of aging and demeanor surely I must still have broad appeal (bad
pun intended).

Hot Bench

The smile of a wolf

With a vicious temperament

When on the prowl.

Tuesday, Sept. 7, 2021

Not only does it seem as if justice is neither swift nor fair in many cases, sometimes it seems downright bizarre.

 In my case, when a skateboarder lost control of his board that hit my bike causing me to fall and break my clavicle, I was just about ready to give up when possibly the entertainment Gods are going to step in to help out.

 The producer from a program called “Hot Bench” sent me a letter inquiring if I would be willing to have that show arbitrate my case. The catch is the defendant would also have to agree to appear. And why would he? The producer explained that the advantage for a defendant is that because it’s binding arbitration that’s not going through the courts, it doesn’t show on their records. I hope that’s enough bait. I also hope that the contact information the dude gave me was accurate. I tried calling once but never received a response.

 This is the e-mail I sent back to the producer.

 Thank you so much for considering my case. I was at the point where I felt receiving justice was hopeless.

 Outside of your sadly true statement regarding collecting damages through the small claims court system, the court made a clerical error listing two different case numbers and a different defendant (Bicycle World) on the mandatory mediation notice. In Los Angeles before proceeding to trial mandatory mediation is required. I sent a certified letter to the court stating this error on June 15 and have, as of yet, not received any update.

 And it doesn’t end there. Because I’m in my 60s health insurance is extremely expensive. To lower the cost over a year ago I joined a health share network; Trinity Health Share. They have since filed for bankruptcy protection. To this point I have paid out of pocket for a very expensive ambulance ride and a few x-ray bills. My clavicle surgery went very well and I am almost fully recovered my physical injuries but am in limbo as to whether or how much of that was paid for.

 However, it isn’t the expenses and mental and physical discomfort of the accident that caused me to seek renumeration through the court system, it was the lack of remorse or any attempt to make amends by Mr. Flores.

 Fortunately at the time of the accident there was a good Samaritan on hand, Matt, who rushed me to urgent care, had the sense to use my phone to get the I.D.s of Mr.Flores and his friend, and held on to my damaged bicycle until it was convenient for my wife to retrieve it.

 If there are any details of the case that you need, I’ll be happy to forward them to you. I’ll also call you tomorrow after work.

 Thank you again for your time and for reaching out.

Scratch

 Rhythms of darkness;

Owls, insects and coyotes

Sing throughout the night.

 Friday, August 27, 2021

 DNFs are painful; scratches are almost unforgiveable.

 Almost…

 Sometimes you’re injured. I’m not. I’m actually feeling pretty good. But I don’t want to injure myself or anyone else so I’m going to scratch from tomorrow’s Santa Barbara Duathlon.

 It’s just taken me too long to get my Argon 18 set-up and ready to race. I was only able to get out on one road ride, and if there weren’t going to be a bunch of other nervous riders flying all around me I’d be okay, but I’m positive there’s no point asking the race organizers if that’s a possibility.

 So I’m opting out. Which gives me 5 months to become confident that I can hold my bike straight enough not to be an unofficial hazard out there.

 Instead, I’ll go after the elusive over 60 under 20 minute 5k which has eluded me the last couple of years.

 I’m not too disappointed in myself for this decision. I know it’s not going to plague me as I build up for future races. Races involving bikes require much more skill than running races. I’ll get there soon enough.

The Jitters

 Lonely howls

Pierce the indifferent cold

Before the sunrise.

Thursday, August 19, 2021

 Races don’t make me as nervous as they use to. In fact, it’s actually a relief now to get race nerves as I worry if my body doesn’t go through its usual race preparations. Arriving early and getting in multiple visits to the porta-potty lets me know that my mind/body are in sync and are preparing for some serious business.

 And speaking of serious business…

 What really gives me the jitters is when my boss walks past me and tells me not to leave before seeing her.

 That doesn’t happen often but unlike racing it’s never what I signed up for.

 Fortunately, lately it’s been about minor details like scheduling changes. But it does help put into perspective what’s worth stressing over.

A Second Try

Bands of diffused light

Reaches from the living sun

To touch our faces.

 Thursday, August 12, 2021

 I never set out in life to be a role model, but that seems to have been my fate.

 For 25 years I was an elementary school teacher. I didn’t start out wanting to teach, but as with many of my fellow liberal arts majors looking for gigs, adding on the additional year it takes to earn a teaching credential while we figure out what we want to do seemed like a better option than continuing in the economic dregs of retail.

 The years just kept adding up and while I never experienced that “I found my calling” moment, I did feel I grew competent enough in the job to keep at it.

 Part of what goes into teaching is knowing that you’ve got 20/30 children looking at you everyday to see how you’re handling yourself and others under all kinds of circumstances. And in that respect, I thought I did a decent job of developing an environment of trust and affection. And that goes a long way in making teaching both enjoyable and honorable.

 Now in my second career as a program guide at a high-end wellness center, I have again stumbled into a job that has placed in the position of role model.

 At 63 I am older than almost all our guests and for many reasons I am in generally better shape than most. Often that means I’m held up as an exemplar of the program. But although I do believe there are many positive aspects to our program, it’s not how I got to where I am.

 But I don’t mind.  I do feel it’s rewarding to be admired for my health. It’s not nearly the burden I felt while teaching and it prods me to continue to look after myself.

The Plot Thickens

 

Elaborate dreams

Mystify

Why

Should I awake

When

Living on my side

Is so

So satisfying?

 Friday, August 6, 2021

 I work with a few people who for various reasons have not gotten the vaccine. One of those person’s reasoning is that Bill Gates and his cadre of evil masterminds wants to substantially reduce the human population.

 But I don’t believe they’ve thought this all the way through to fully appreciate what an evil genius Mr. Gates is.

 I believe that Mr. Gates in cahoots with the Chinese government created the virus.

 He also understood that in the unlikely case an effective vaccine was produced, he would be associated with it because of his speaking out about this type of pandemic years ago. And that association would cause many wackos to forego getting the vaccine.

 This in turn would allow the virus to mutate and spread and further his diabolical aims of reducing the population.

 It’s an evil genius/conspiracy wacko catch 22. That damned evil bastard.