I’m Human

 

 Friday, December 24, 2021

 A forthright killer,

She rests her jaws on my throat

And easily sleeps.

 Every Sunday at dinner here at the Ranch we practice gratitudes. But, this being the last Sunday of 2021 I thought I’d break with tradition just a bit and start with a toast leading into gratitudes.

 With all the uncertainty of the past few years, along with the stresses that can accompany the holiday season, my wife and I were having a discussion and at some point one of said “I’m human.” And the way that this was said, as it is often, “I’m human” was meant to say I make mistakes, I’m flawed, and since you’re also human, you should understand that.

 All that is true.

 What I propose, and what I’d like to toast to and am grateful for is that I am human, and perhaps unlike any other species, we have the capacity to see not only how our flaws cause harm to ourselves and to others, but also to other living things, and we can use those insights to change our behaviors and create a better self and hopefully a better world.

 

That’s pretty special and that’s what I’m grateful for. So to us. We’re human and I’m grateful for it.

Small Changes

 The sadness of rain.

The cloudy visions of tears.

Time is a gray wash.

 Tuesday, December 14, 2021

 After having a series of several good races I’m going to change things up a bit.

 Why? For a couple of reasons;

 1.    My upcoming races and goals aren’t quite the same. The recent races were intermediate trail races with a turkey trot thrown in for good measure. My next goal races are a road half marathon at the end of February, a 50k trail race, then some duathlons after that.

2.    Life gets stale doing the same workouts week in and week out. Tweaking things a bit helps to keep the interests up.

I’m not going to make any drastic changes; stretch my one outside ride a bit, throw in a 6 mile trail run at the end of it every other week, run a longer long run every other week, change up my lifting slightly, continue to work on the diet to get under 10% body fat by my birthday…Hopefully, just enough changes to keep me interested and hanging in there.

Roll the Dice

Running through the fog

My adversary appears

To urge me forward.

Roll the Dice: Wednesday, December 8, 2021

 At the NoName 50/25 I ran one of my best races ever. My time of 2:01:36 was the fastest I’ve ever run a 25k. The conditions were perfect and the course was moderate with many fast downhill sections. More so than my performance was how I ran and also how another runner who finished behind me approached the event.

 This was one of the few races, or even runs for that matter, where I felt my mind and body were in the game from beginning to end. I always try to tell myself that if you want to feel you’ve accomplished something special you’ve got to roll the dice and push it a bit possibly risking blowing up and having to DNF or significantly slowing at some point. I’ve done both of those too many times. But Saturday wasn’t one of them. I just felt on this side of the edge for two hours and it felt great.

For another runner it didn’t.

Early in the race a guy passed me I chased him In the fog and as the race rolled slightly uphill and meandered through some beautiful single track, I would catch glimpses of him now and then. Finally, as we approached a long downhill section at the 10k mark, I edged passed him.

At the end I waited for about 10 minutes as I wanted to thank him for setting such a strong pace for the first section of the race. But he didn’t show and I had to get to work. I asked the first woman finisher if she had seen him and she told me he was walking a bit further back when she passed him.

I figured that dude had rolled the dice as well and came up short. I hope he’s not discouraged by his second half struggles because for me that’s what competition is all about; discovering where that edge is and riding it for as long as you can. I don’t have any trail races planned for quite a while, but I do hope I’ll see that dude again so I can properly thank him.

One of Those

 Red crowned white breasted

Black winged woodpecker knock, knocks,

Knock, knock….knock, knock,
knocks.

Wednesday, December 1, 2021

 A few years ago when I was trying to decide if I could make it to work on time if I ran in the Pier to Peak half marathon in Santa Barbara, I looked at the time of the age group winner and figured I’d be all right. But my wife interjected what if he was one of those special athletes that defies aging implying that I shouldn’t be so self-assured and give myself a larger margin for error.

That hurt. What if I was one of those special athletes? Apparently at the time, she didn’t think so. 

Well, at the Ventura Turkey trot I met one of those special athletes, Brian Nelson. It’s like in track and field if you asked who won the 400 meter hurdles when Edwin Moses was in his prime, or more recently, Usain Bolt in the 100. At the race in Ventura I asked a fellow age grouper how he thought we did and he said, well, Brian Nelson was in the race. Pretty much means the rest of us were vying for 2^nd.

So now I know in Southern California in races 5k or less, I am not “one of those”.

Maybe I can still be “one of those” in longer events, or in trail races, but I don’t feel like I’m there yet and I’ve never experienced the feeling that anyone is telling anybody forget about it, Michael’s in the race.

A Sneak Peek

 Family of deer

Blend into the charred hillside

Ashen grey and brown.

Friday, November 19, 2021

 Over the years I’ve tried to worry less about my competition and focus on time or process goals at races. But I’ve broken down and took a sneak peek at the competition for the next couple of events.

 Sometimes I’ll do this as a practical matter to help me better prepare. For example, the next two events I haven’t done before and I’d like to try to go under 20 minutes for the 5k on Thanksgiving and under 3 hours for the 30k at the No Name 30k on December 4^th.  So I”ll peek at past results to give me an idea of what’s conceivable.

 On Thanksgiving, at the Ventura 5k, the times seem pretty fast with even a few people in my age group going under 20. In fact, there’s a good possibility I'll get whooped there, which hasn’t happened in quite a while. I’m going to try and put that out of my mind and just try to hold a steady pace and let the adrenaline and sea of fast runners take me under 20. If I go under 20 where I place will just be a matter of who shows up.

 The No Name has now been changed to a 25k so I’ll have to set a new standard for that. Seems a little less daunting than Bull Dog, which I ran in 2:12 so I’ll give under 2:10 a go. Again, placing will be a matter of who shows up.

 Recently I read an article about Ryan Hall saying that he wants all of his athletes to have both a time and a heart goal. My heart goal for the 25k will be to hang with whomever passes me after the first half hour and to also not walk a step. I was pleased to do that at both Bull Dog and the Old Boney 30k.

 Whatever happens it’ll be fun to get out there and face new competition on new courses and to see how it all works out.

54 Hours

The cold morning ghost

Presses on the canyon brush

With a thick, damp hand.

 Tuesday, November 16, 2021

 At 63, nearing the end of my working life, I have come nearly full circle and almost have the same final ideal work schedule that I had when I started on this crazy journey of work.

 I started happily working at age 12 when Mr. McGowan, the owner of McGowan’s market, the local mom and pop grocery store, offered me a weekend job. He paid me $6 to come in on the weekends to sweep the sidewalk, wash windows and do general cleaning and other odds and ends.

 6 bucks for a few hours early Sat/Sun morning back in 1970 seemed like a great gig and if the dude hadn’t sold the place a few years later, who knows, maybe I’d be an old man now still out there with broom and dustpan.

 In between then and now my predominant line of work was as an elementary school teacher, who’s hours weren’t all that bad and, though the pay and benefits were marginally better, it definitely was a lot more work both physically and mentally. Teaching did allow for weekend training/racing but squeezing in workouts after an exhausting day was challenging.

 For the past four years I’ve been working at a wellness retreat four days a week. But recently that’s been changed to a straight 54 hour shift starting Saturday morning and ending midday Monday with occasional Saturday mornings off to get out and race.

 This allows me four solid days to train, relax and do pretty much as I please. The only small downside is that I’ll need to take time (money) off occasionally if I want to compete on Sunday or have a significant race that requires long travel, but finally, near the end I hope, of this seemingly endless work cycle I’m back to working on the weekends .

Old Boney

An amorphous cloud

Hovers below the mountains

Slowly vanishing.

 Tuesday, November 2, 2021

 At the moment I’m in that transition phase where I’m still taking way too much time feeling good about myself from last weekend’s race before slapping myself to get it together and getting back to training and focusing on the present and future events.

 The Old Boney 20 miler, like just about every race, had its share of accomplishments and failures. I failed to hit my time goal of under 3 hours. This year I have not hit a time goal. I’m not missing by much though so I’m not going to write myself off as an out of touch optimist just yet. Next up will be a turkey trot where I’ll give under 20 in a 5k a final shot for this year.

 At Old Boney I did win my age group and came in 5^th overall in a very respectable 3:08. Next month I’ll shoot for an under 3-hour 30k on a far easier course, but with weather and what not…

 I did fall, but with minimal damage and not much of a setback. Otherwise, everything pretty much went according to plan. For the No Name 30k next month I’ll make some minor changes in equipment but will set out to keep the same basic plan and outlook.

 One racing element that was fortified by my approach is that for longer challenging races it’s wise to reign it in a bit at the start. Since Old Boney began at 6:30 a.m. the first 15 minutes were in the dark and all of the runners pretty much cruised and used that as a warmup. And that didn’t prevent the winner from doing a blazing 2:40 and running away from the rest of us mere mortals. Nor did it prevent me from feeling great once I got going and allowed me to work myself into the race where I felt very comfortable pushing the pace and challenging myself to do something special.

 Darkness won’t be an issue at No Name and given that the course is easier, the temptation to gun it at the start is going to be hard to constrain. Once I have more details, I’ll better be in a position to feel if a pre-race warmup is desirable or if I’ll be better off to again start slow and work my way into race pace. But my time and effort level sure felt right at Old Boney so it’ll be an interesting compare/contrast if I deviate.

 Alright already, enough pats on the back. It’s time to kick myself and get back to work.