Michael: The Freak Show (DMV Edition)

Luminous white spots
Emanate webs of color
Throughout the heavens.

Saturday, October 6, 2018

After work on Wednesday I returned to the DMV to see if I could amend my CDL application and apply for a Passenger Van Endorsement and take the test necessary for that. And within 10 minutes of walking through the doors, I was almost scared straight enough to believe that maybe, after getting a good look at some of my fellow drivers, I should stay away from the roads altogether.

Upon entering the DMV, there are three lines; the far left line is to make appointments, the center line - the red carpet - is for people who made on-line appointments, and the far right is where people go when they’re called to the counter to be helped by a clerk. Right off I was called out by an 80 year old in a track warm up suit for cutting in front of him on the red carpet. But he wasn’t on the red carpet. He was leaning on window 10 so I thought he was waiting for a clerk. I apologized and told him that’s what it looked like to me, and that seemed to satisfy him. I haven’t been in a fight and I didn’t want my first and last one to be with an 80 year old at the DMV. I’m not a tough guy to begin with, and telling my heavily tattooed homeys that I was in county for whooping an 80 year old’s ass, wouldn’t likely keep anyone scared away from me behind bars.

While still in line, I witnessed another middle age man complaining about the wait and that he wasn’t getting the proper attention given how much pain he was in. When the clerk tried to empathize, she was rebuked for not understanding, nor ever being capable of understanding. It was his pain. Inside him and him alone. It‘s not possible for her to understand. And he made that belligerently clear to her and most of us at the DMV. I wish I could’ve explained to him how much anxiety he was filling me with, but - by his own circular reasoning, I knew he wouldn’t understand.

Finally seated and with an appointment number, I watched an older woman in a long hound’s-tooth coat with her hand covering her face, pace back in forth and mumble nervously in front of the seated section of the DMV. How many trips to the DMV would it take before that was me?

But redemption and good luck at last! When called to the counter, I got the same clerk as I had yesterday. She recognized me and amended my application. I took the test, passed, received my permit and was out the door.

I’ll need to return again for an inspection and driving test, but that can wait for a bit. I have a 6 month window for that and I’m in no big rush to spend another day at the DMV until the nightmares from the past few visits have subsided.