Michael: Fragile

 Trail maintenance 

While not knowing where we are 

Seems essential now. 

Monday, June 15, 2020 

During this long break from work we’ve been in the habit of watching the youtube snippets of most of the late night talk show hosts with the exception of Jimmy Fallon whom I’ve never thought was very funny. Usually these dudes give pretty close to the same snarky take on whatever the Dufus in chief has done lately. I don’t think they’re intentionally leaving Biden out of the mix. It seems Biden has decided that’s a good strategy to follow all on his own.  

We’re not fans of either candidate and don’t mind having a good chuckle at their foibles. But tomorrow maybe the exception. Tomorrow I suspect that Steve, Jimmy, Trevor and Seth are all going to have more than one good laugh at Trump’s water glass technique and his weeble wobble down the ramp at the West Point graduation ceremony.  

I’ve always been a little sensitive when it comes to making fun of a person’s looks, ticks or handicaps that they have no control over. And Trump and Biden, like all of us, can’t control the fact that they’re aging. The sad/comedic effect is only amplified by both of their ridiculous denials of what we all see before us. 

For everyone, particularly men of their generation and in both of their cases, with even larger inflated egos to protect, it’s strikes a sad note when they’re made fun of. 

 I wasn’t around when either FDR or JFK were protected by their entourage and to a large degree, the press, from exposure of their physical weaknesses. And I know with everyone movement being filmed and examined now, we can’t go back to eras where there was more of a definitive line of decorum and privacy, but I don’t see that as particularly progressive or an improvement of how we conduct ourselves toward each other.  

Michael: Following the Lines

Around the ankles 

The small black bees buzz above 

Their tiny burrows.

Thursday, June 11, 2020 

This is going to sound like one of those stories that’s trying to force itself into being a parable, but it’s just the facts, mam. 

Late Sunday afternoon as I was driving to pick up our weekly Chipotle order, I was behind a person who was lane drifting and almost hit me. Naturally, I thought it was some dufus texting. It wasn’t.

It was an old dude wearing very dark glasses and from a safe distance behind it seems that he was having a very difficult time seeing the faded white guidelines. On that section of Topanga, just as it comes out of the canyon and flattens out heading into Canoga Park, the lines are pretty faded. 

 But what I was wondering is why the guy just didn’t lift his head up and follow the car in front of him or get a better perspective by looking ahead, instead of futilly trying to pick up the lines he could no longer see? 

But it struck me that I’ll probably react the same way as my vision fades with age. No doubt for decades his vision was fine and was a reliable method for driving safely. But as it slowly, almost imperceptibly weakened, he stubbornly persists in his old ways instead of acknowledging a need to change if he wishes to continue driving safely.  

And I can see this line of thinking applying to many other areas of life, but I’m not going to push it. I just hope someone who cares about him will talk to him about his driving so he’ll either stop or use some other cues to keep him on track.   

Michael: The Weight

Tuesday, June 9, 2020

The Weight 

The weight of the blanket 

Is almost enough to keep me quiet and still  

while the light fades and the world is held away 

Just for the moment  

Outside the door. 

There were twitches of dreams once; 

Chants I thought would see me through this. 

But now there’s nothing but fatigue 

And a listless awakening 

With nothing but a dull morning haze 

On the horizon.  

Michael: Fears

The Santa Anas

Snort like a well muscled bull

Charging right through us.

 Saturday, June 6, 2020

One of the fears I have related to this pandemic doesn’t have to do with dying, but not being given information about the possibility of suffering permanently debilitating conditions.

I’m 62. I’m only surmising because of the lack of information, that my prospects of suffering nonfatal but prolonged or permanent damage would be greater than a younger person. As I’m going back to work in a few weeks I’m going to have to do my due diligence and research this.

I’m sure I’m not alone as a lot of older people near retirement will be struggling with quality of life issues versus health risks as we weigh all the concerns regarding returning to work.

I’m pretty healthy so I’m probably going to roll the dice, particularly as my wife is also out of work and isn’t likely to return in the near future. Right now we have no major bills outside of rent and we’re skimping on health coverage by only buying emergency medical.

The one ray of sunshine in all this mess is that hopefully at least medicare will be revised so that at least I’ll qualify. With so many unemployed and uninsured you would think that revising the healthcare system will be a top priority. But I’m not holding my breath – just always wearing a mask – at the moment.

Michael: Phase Three

Where is paradise?

The lost travelers inquired

At the gates of hell.

 Thursday, June 4, 2020

My wife and I work in a Phase Three business. I had no idea there was such a thing mid March, but I suspect that many Californians have gained that knowledge and are in the same position as we are.

That is; one of us will be going back to work soon while the other remains unemployed due to restructuring and/or reduced demand for our services.

I imagine that, like us, because much of our income is dependent upon tips,  even if my salary isn’t reduced, my income will be. Couple all that with reduced unemployment benefits as soon as the bonus payments end in July and, like many Californians, we will not have nearly the disposable income that we had just a few months ago.

And here is where the dominoes start to fall and make it easy to understand that our economy will not be returning to normal anytime soon.

We are at least fortunate enough to not have any outstanding debt or large financial obligations outside of rent. And if we remain lucky and in good health our lifestyle, being somewhat spartan as is, won’t really change all that much. We even have a few months rainy day savings for when the next disaster strikes.

I do feel optimistic though, but I also want to be careful and not sense that I’m being a Candide. No, this isn’t the best of all possible worlds, but if we can somehow manage to restructure our society to make it more just for all, perhaps all this absurdity won’t have been in vain.

Michael: His Dream

Wednesday, June 3, 2020

His Dream

His dream

Was a flickering spasm;

More of a death shiver

Than a promise.

His old bones still chatter

But why listen anymore?

It’s not his throat

They’re stepping on.

Muscle up

While you’re still living.

He couldn’t save himself.

He can’t protect us now.

Michael: C'mon Man!

 The cool ocean air

Reaches out to the canyon

Like a soothing hand.

 Monday, June 1, 2020

I keep listening to Biden and hoping that he’s going to give me a reason to vote for him. The last I heard from him was his response to Trump’s tweet, which could basically be paraphrased as; ‘Thoroughly irresponsible. Thoroughly irresponsible; …C’mon Man!” I’m not sure if that’s more cogent than what Trump said. It certainly isn’t an outline for systematic change or even any decent proposal that moves us in any positive direction.

Being a nice guy, or at least better than Trump – which is an extremely low bar – I suppose is something, but it’s definitely far from sufficient.

I understand why Trump’s ego won’t allow for him to step aside, but I don’t understand how Biden, or those around him, fail to recognize that his place holder candidacy is not what the nation needs now. The only true reform candidate with the support and recognition to have a chance to bring us out of this without ripping the system to shreds is and has been Bernie Sanders.

Otherwise we’re going to continually having conflagrations that flare up until they’re no longer capable of being put out within the confines of the institutions we now have in place.