Kimme: Chess

Saturday, April 25th, 2015

It's funny how my old issues are coming back to haunt me.  Since we moved to Panama, Michael has been teaching me how to play chess.  I am enjoying playing the game but I am getting sick of losing every night.  We have played almost every night since we got here and I have only won two times and that was in the very beginning when we played a beginner's version that involved the element of chance.  Since we have graduated to the classic game I lose every time.  Most of the time I just stay positive and say to myself that chess is one of those things that takes time, and one day it will click in and I will just start winning.  I think of it as a game that takes time to learn but will come in handy when I get older when I have more time on my hands.  I remember thinking the same thing about tennis and swimming.  These were the things that I imagined I would have more time to practice when I got older but felt the need to start at a younger age because I figured it would be hard to keep up with people that have been doing it their whole lives. 

Last night, as usual, I lost another chess game.  But this time instead of playing until the bitter end I completely lost hope that I would ever figure out how to win this game and got huffy and quit way before I usually do.  This morning after reading Michael's blog about our meeting an expat that told us about the local pool and weekly tennis game.  I realized why I became frustrated last night.  I never got good at tennis.  After years of tennis lessons I was never able to climb up the tennis ladder. 

Every time we play chess I think ... "I wonder if this is going to be one of those things like tennis that I am never going to be good at, all those wasted lessons." But this morning, rested and optimistic, I think what a strange but thoughtful kid I was, to take time out of my current interests to learn something for the future and plan out my social calendar so far in advance.  I think even at that age I knew I was probably always going to be an introvert and tennis and swimming might be an easy way to be social.  I don't think I ever entertained thoughts of winning.   I just wanted to learn to play a good  game.

So tonight with my tennis issues worked out I hope to play chess with a better attitude.