Michael: Sunday, April 5, 2015

The two black buzzards,
One picking the bones, while the
Other waits his turn.

Today one of my sisters for sure, probably two, will be attending mass with their families. My other sister will be playing golf with our mom. Kimme and I will be hiking on the Quetzal trail to a small off-shoot trail leading to an overlook we haven’t been to.

Many Panamanians, I’m sure, will be attending a religious service of some type. I thought, this being a Latin American country, that would prove to be a Catholic mass, but there are quite a variety of denominations out here. They do seem to be missing some of the more entertaining varieties of religion that are prevalent back home, like Scientology and Hare Krishna, but it wouldn’t surprise me if a few of their adherents weren’t tucked away in some corner as well.

I’ve even picked up a strain of pseudo eastern mysticism among some of the ex-pats and at first this this threw me. Most of them being 10-15 years older than me, I pegged them mostly to be Reaganites, or other variances of the right wing loonie fringe, and while I have run into some of that element, I was having a hard time looking at granny and listening to her talk about finding herself, being enlightened, and renouncing the material world. Not just because she was granny mind you, but she was talking about this while giving me a ride in a very material car that I couldn’t afford right now.

But even as slow as I am, it finally hit me why. Dam it, some of these people use to be genuine hippies. And when I was 10 I remember walking down our street to Memorial Park and watching them rally against the war. At that point it wasn’t because I cared one way or another, it was for the entertainment value. I no doubt even enjoyed ogling some of the babes walking by, and now I’m looking at some of them here in Panama, and wondering what happened? And I don’t mean just physically. Hell, that’s a cold slap in the face as well, but it’s not like I’m escaping aging, so I can squint and understand that. But it also goes a long way in explaining the transcendental bent.

What else are you going to do when the war is over and you’ve been beaten? If the cause wasn’t strong enough and failed, it doesn’t necessarily mean you weren’t strong enough. Maybe you were misguided and the cause wasn’t out there, but the enemy was within you all the time and you are strong enough, but just weren’t focused on the right evils. Fight the war within. That’s where redemption is found. The rest of the world can fend for itself, and as you so painfully discovered, isn’t so easy to conquer.

Now I’m going to stop myself here, before I transform any further from Dr. Michael into Mr. Bill Maher (Damned again. I wish I had his wit and quickness.) I realize I’m taking a broad brush to one frustratingly complex paint by number canvas, but I do think I’ve captured some element of the picture accurately.